its been 5 days i left home. it feels like my body is here, but my mind and soul are with someone. to whom feel the same like me, just hold on your tight. dont ever ever ever be like me. myself, i know my limits and what the only thing that i deserves. yes i have a problem with the my low self esteem nowadys. i dnt know where on earth they gone. pls do come back to me and bring me back my normality because i feel lost without it.

this is not a crap and shit thing that i would like to share in here. to u mr.blog, im sorry if i make your space 'dull' and 'boring'. i love what im doing right now. i love my course, fashion design. i love the chaos and the people but i dnt see clearly what is exactly wrong with me. okay perhaps is about pattern class but i just finished all the works and have a strong feeling that everything will be alright. okay maybe another things come up, maybe the thing is, my own self.

i've been thinking for this too longgg. it is about applying a fast track to degree. yes as we all know, the fast track will be held at shah alam the main campus. that is one of the reason why everybody are seems very excited to apply the application. in my opinion, everything has their own pro and cost. to me, if its not good, why the hell shah alam make an idea about doing a fast track and make a condition whoever aply the application are confirm will be going to shah alam and look forward in fast track. but it is all just an opinion. im not sure if i deserve to be apart of them or just stay here in perak until i grad the diploma and get my certification.

bak kate mak saya, solat istikharah dan solat hajat akan membantu kita membuat keputusan dgn btol. insyaallah.

wherever we are, the hardness and obstacles are everywhere, if choose to be hard, then it will be hard. if we think it is easy, it will be easy.

dear heart, follow your instinct and think wisely what is best for you. DO NOT follow people. you know better than others. heart, whatever the sequences that you might be facing after this were already planned by god. except it sincerely and willing to obey to it.

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are (AHMIR cover) Music Video

its been 2 years and 5 months. thanks for everything and stil love you and always be.

goodbye Ramadhan, hello Syawal :)

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so the raya date has been anounced, its fridayyy! so the rumours are totally not true. i am almost have a small fight arguing with aja about a real raya date. i will not going to tell who is the winner. haha.

what is the relation of those pic above with what am i going to talk about here?

some of my friends said, the pic shows a spirit to celebrate a raya festive. and according to their perception, it looks like i am so excited to show my raya scarf and it is also like to show how to wear a tudung in a different way. durhh. -.-"

obviously, we are excited to celebrate raya. as a muslim, syawal is a month of victory after fasting in ramadhan. god knows better why He create syawal.

yes i am excited. yes i am excited but but but but but, there is one big problem, a very big problem which is for the very first time it happen to me. happen to me. come onnnnnn.

the problem is : baju raya saya xsiap lagi walaupun esok dah nak raya. believe it or not? believe it.

two words : calm down.

how to solve : wear last raya of baju raya.

target : before we going back to sremban (our home), the unfinished, incomplete, and supposedly done baju raya must be done right before we going back to our home. huu

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i do miss my old friends in kl. i realy miss all of them. if they could see how much i miss and always think about them. i miss my two girls, fata and ain. i miss my insane qayyum. i miss my sarah, alia, besah, balqis, mahya and everybody whoever that i have forgotten to write your name here. I MISS MY UNDER 18 LIFE. this is not wrong kan. this is normal to feel like this during this raya. eventhough it is not raya season, this will always be normal to me. hopefully there will be a time and space for us to meet up. they are very far away from my sight, but they are very closed to my heart. all of them defines my every moments.

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mak's rendang has been cooked and i have done my packing to go back to kampung right after we break fast this evening. and i have done my vacuum job. so now we only wait for abah back from his work. untill then, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin.

chaos!

semalam kami anak beranak akhirnya telah berjaya membuat biskut raye. biskut yg paling senang di dunia ini iaitu cornflacks madu miahahahaha. bayi yg baru lahir pun senang nak mengendalikan biskut ini. seriously.

nmpk mcm selekeh tp rase agk meletop k haha. terima kasih pada mak yg sudi meluangkan mase me,bantu anak2 mu mebuat biskut yg xseberapa ni ye.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!

Persuit of Happiness.

meet najihah. she is newborn baby girl. we called her 'jiha'. she is very fragile and adorable. well she is kind of a new member in our family recently meaning that she is send by her mother to my mak to look after her while her parents goes to work. since jiha come to our home, she have brings some kind of different joy and excitement.
today she come to our house. her mother,aunty ida send her for a while they go to shopping for this raya preparation i think. jiha never crying out loud and yelling or whatever. it seems like she never know how to cry at all and thats make mak easy to do other work at home. i think jiha's hobby is sleeping. it is very easy to sleep her.
SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN CUTE. cant wait to hug her again tomorrow. yes, she is coming tomorrow.

can i?

according to the facts, love is blind. love is fly in the air. love is sweet like sugar. love is hurt. love is a bonding between two people. wether different type of two people or same type of behaviour of two people. i am going to crap about all this with all my own oppinion.

a feeling of love is a gift by god to every kind of human and creatures in this universal. no one can run or hide from this natural feeling. normally this feeling are very popular among living creatures called, human. as we know, human are the leader of earth and only human have a brain that can think wisely and somehow i wonder why nowadays some people could dump their own offspring just because of thier own mistake which is that the baby is unguilty. well this is just apart of my opinion and baby dumping is not a crap.

back to the main topic,when love are start from actually?

it is start from our heart. love doesnt know who is 'brain'. only heart can receive this feeling until it 'burst' to someone or something. like an example, commonly, we can see alot like love in this world. there are love between bad guy and innocent girl, old man and young lady, poor girl and rich man, and last but not list,bimbo ang geek. all this differentiation shows that no matter how and who we are, we are deserve to feel this amazing feeling. it is naturaly came to us and it is hard to avoid it. the more we run from it, it will be more closer to us. so the conclusion is, we never realise when it is all begin but we are happy to welcome this feeling.

to see it more clearly. i have been living with surrounding that full of type of love. and have many different story behind it. i am so glad to give this chances in reality to watch by my own about the story of love. after all, a true love are based from a sincere heart. a sincere heart can make everything goes wonderfully. before we can get a true love, we must love our allah first. that is what my mak said. there are no greatest love other than allah's love. it is true. it is not that we cant be in love with whoever, it is just that we must think what kind of love that we want to be with and what a real thing that we are looking forward in love.

all in all, always happy in love and dont ever regret if someday we never had a chance to feel it.

what is the best word other than say sorry?

i am sorry. SORRY MEANS :-

• S-ome
• O-ne
• R-eally
• R-emmember
• Y-ou

lets talk about promises. promising or dealing something with others are very kind of making a hard descision and being responsibility. if we cant keep our promises it will harm us. infact just because of we breaking the promises, the relation between us are broken to. honestly, this is what im facing right now.

to whom that may concern or to you know who you are, yes, i am promising something with you but sometimes we as a human being that closed to unplan activity are not easy to avoid it. again, I AM SORRY. i certainly know sorry will not change anything and it is not good enough for you to forgive me.

okay, I HATE THIS SITUATION. goddd, it makes me feel missing him much more. i never know what will happen in the future. so it is normal if something come up and never ever plan it to happen. yes i do sit and mopping to myself thinking of my mistake. yes, i am guilty. i am realy guilty and how i wish i could turn back the time. infact, i hate myself for doing this to him. and how i wish tomorrow will be going back to normal. pretend like i never hurt him. for the information, i could only look at the comp screen. why?? because, i dont have an idea what to say and to tell. until here.

okay. i hate this feeling. hate the situation. hate the air. hate my phone. mirror. my hand. my thoughts. my unplan activity. my plan. hate my idea. hate the feeling. the situation. hate the thoughts. hate mirror. hate my hand. hate the phone ( keep silent until now) and hate all the things that i have been wrote here just now.

the mood is swing. goodnight. SORRY

HELLO.

first, its been a looooonnggg time i didnt wrote any here.

sudah hampir 3 bulan saya yg bernama nur fatin tidak meluangkan mase di sini. its not that i dont want to share everything in here,but nowadays i gv all my ideas to the max only to a things that i thought is the only priority to myself. i am totally regret for not spending my time here

-__-' then now i realise i have my own life instead of being student and slaved my self to life schedule.

people say, everything happens for a reason. i believe it. terlalu banyak perkara berlaku terhadap diri kita sama ada ianya mengembirakan atau menyedihkan atau kadang2 kita tak tahu nak menilai samada ia gembira atau sedih. selama 3 bulan ini, itulah yang menimpa diri saya.

truth to be told, i realy dont know how to begin all my stories for this several 3 months. thank god, im alive and stil can touch my family and you all. and thank god i can make it through all the challenge and pain. day by day, im accidentaly have learned so may things and be more matured.

its ramadhan and ofcourse everybody are fasting and aidilfitri are just around the corener and ofcourse everybody are excited to prepare everything for this raya festive. im one of them who were very excited to go back home for raya holiday! my "What's on Your Mind?" is, 'family, home and HIM' .

TIPULAH KALAU SAYA TIDAK ADE KERJA YANG PERLU DISIAPKAN CUTI NI. urgh.

tak la banyak mane pun sebenarnye nak dibuat cumanya, saya ada penyakit yang tak dapat nak diubati. iaitu penyakit : MALAS. penyakit ni sgt popular dlm diri saya. suka sgt serang saya yg tak bersalah ni.

okay thats it. enough i think. saya tak nak buang mase hanya duduk di depan laptop sampai malam dan lebam-lebam. lets enjoy my time with my home.